Family

Stella, Bill, Fannie
Photo Source: Tony Adkins

Someone told me recently that "family is ALL we have".

I agree AND disagree.

I love my family. It's full of interesting people and memories. Most of my positive memories of life involve times spent with them.

The heritage of my family is rich and gives me pleasure to research. Thanks to a few history/lineage/ancestry-minded cousins, I get to enjoy pictures like the one listed to the right.

However. My FAMILY consists of more than the bonds of blood and bone.  I have people in my life: friends, church, co-workers, and heroes that I consider to be part of MY personal family.

Family, to me, is a group of people who love you, keep you accountable, support you, correct you (in love), love to see you succeed, love to hear you speak, give you space to grow, and don't harm you intentionally.

So if there are any blood-relatives that fall into the verbally-abusive, bitter, toxic, chaotic, and destructive categories of life...I will not be investing much time in fostering a relationship.  I will try to be kind, love and forgive. But that doesn't mean I will let a TOXIC element into my life.

Family sometimes cross healthy boundaries. Abuse is then "ok", and we are supposed to take it and take it, and "love them anyway".

I LOVE MY FAMILY ENOUGH TO SAY NO.

To say, " You can't treat me this way. You cannot be a part of my life if you only seek to destroy and poison my life."

 I will give you time to heal, to learn, and find what you need to become healthy and non-toxic.

Bottom line: GOD is all I have, and everything He gives me to add to that is a blessing that I will PROTECT and hold dear as much as I am able.

See you in five to ten...

The 1992 FHS 20th year Class reunion: three days of merriment and regurgitated pubescent memories.

To all my fellow classmates, thanks for a great weekend of reminiscing and uncomfortable silences.

Next time will be even better. I'll be skinnier, have more money, be wiser, smarter, and more than likely, still not look my age.

In the meantime...

Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga!

Shannon and I in class on toga day: Taken by FHS Yearbook staff 1992

Happy 4th: Read this and Eat.

Watching the Cooking/Food networks has become a new late night activity for me. The food looks amazing and I'm SO hungry by then. Not eating late is new as well. What is it about munching on a bag of cheese puffs while watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond that makes me feel so good? 


I am now on my 13th day of Nutrisystem, and have lost 12 lbs. My body is extremely warm, warmer than normal. Hoping this is the fat burning and running out of my body in terror. Eating every three hours or so, and pooping much less than before. Eating more, pooping less. Makes no sense. But there it is.

Sorry this post is nonsensical and all over the place. Low sugar and no-ice-cream has made me into a blubbering mess. I want King's Island blue ice cream SO BAD right now. Stupid Kings Island.

Have a great Fourth of July, and eat lots of crazy grilled food and snacks for me. Post pics and tell me how HORRIBLE it tastes, ok?

Alicia

I wanna be like Lydia

Just when I think I'm over the past, something sneaks up and lays me flat.
(Hey. That sounds like a verse for a song....nice.)

The good news is that I'm much quicker to recover now then I used to be. I attribute this to my daily devotions and time spent with God.

The message given at church this week was about Lydia. (Acts 16). That woman was amazing. She was a worshipper of God. I wonder how she initially found her faith, as the disciples didn't really need to do much convincing when it came time to baptize her and her entire household. She was gung-ho and had no reservations about the entire process.

If people like Lydia can overcome social mores, class distinctions, and gender role challenges to become a successful businesswoman and home owner, then I can handle these little jabs at my peace of mind.

While the world will no doubt throw more arrows of discord and malice, I find myself bolstered by the examples set forth in the Bible. Women who loved God. Overcame sin. Overcame Shame. Became close and intimate friends of the Christ.

I am not afraid.

The Importance of being Amiable

You can catch more flies with honey.

Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.

Treat others as you would like to be treated.

It's really not hard to just be nice. At least, most of the time. Being polite and conscious of the feelings of the person you are speaking to is pretty much a given right? 

Yet, each day I come into contact with the I'm-impolite-and-I'm-not-gonna-even-pretend individual.  (Sometimes that person is me)

Aside from a temporary grumpiness that happens to everyone(RE: me), the perpetual patronizing attitude is a definite poison to any working or social environment. Not to mention the effect on the people surrounding said attitude.

This is just how I am, if you don't like it then TOO BAD.

I'm a very confident person, I make no excuses for my life, and I plan on reminding you every chance I get.

Since I'm the one in charge, I can act any way I like. Shake your hand?... Yeah right. 

Say Good Morning?....not gonna happen.

When faced with this attitude, how do you react? 

Return fire? Hang your head and slink away? Take it like a trooper, then go and gossip about the person later? Confront the rude behavior? Un-friend them? Pray for them? Let it slide, since you're only in contact with this person a few times a week/month/year?

If the cashier at Van Maur acts this way, do you call and complain to the manager?  Who is the manager of the person who treats YOU like crap-on-a-stick? Who can you complain to?

I'm not suggesting an answer to any one question.  My experiences have shown impolite people either feign ignorance of the behavior,or initiate defensive arguing. Very little positive results seem to happen when actually confronting someone on their pride and narcissism.

Pride and Narcissism are the hardest traits to get rid of. They innately don't exist to the person who is exhibiting the behavior. Hence : It's not ME it's YOU attitude.

If you have some insight or wisdom regarding this, by all mean leave a comment. I'm interested to know what the general consensus might be these days. 

In the meantime...

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. - Dalai Lama

End of the 30's: Checking In

So, turning 38 this year was by no means a life milestone, but I did seem to feel it physically. Down to the creaky bones, stiff joints, pinched face when waking up and wishing it was my day off. The weight-loss efforts I used in the past do NOT come CLOSE to working anymore. So protein shakes and salads are slowly dissolving away from my "healthy foods" list. At this point, I'm thinking the dreaded celery and cabbage diet will have to begin.

 My Mom always said that us "Adkins tend to bloom late". For the record, my maturity has blossomed slowly and through much resistance on my part. Thankfully, my heart has been changed for the better when it comes to several personality defects, and I am thankful that I actually survived the last 20 years of adulthood. If it weren't for the golden and cherished memories of my childhood, I would have considered this life of mine a great big bowl of stirred up strife and struggle. As I've heard before, and quote often, these First World Problems are insignificant in the whole world perspective.

In that view, I am blessed. I have a roof over my head, a car that works, a few jobs to earn money, health insurance, cute pets, a few loyal and loving friends, my Faith in God, cable with DVR/WiFi, moderately good health....the list could go on for a long time.

 I will never again take for granted the peace that I now have. Nothing is worth giving up this state of mind. So, if you find yourself on the receiving end of "No." from me, don't take it personally. I'm keeping the peace.

So if you find yourself in the middle of a pity poo-poo party, just remember...
  FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

Blood-Brain Barrier

The other day, I was wondering why I hadn't had any full-blown inspired ideas for a long while.

Usually, I come up with an "A-HA!" moment several times throughout the week.

Now I know why.

Due to the sweaty, grossness of this past summer, I decided to let my hair AIR DRY almost every day.

Ba-Hiiiiiiiiiiiggg Mistake.

Yesterday, I dried my hair with my dusty, but trusty, Hair Dryer. And guess what?



Revelation!!





So, my theory is this. When I flip my head over to dry my hair (I have fine hair, which needs to be dried straight on end to look at all reasonable), The blood RUSHES to my brain and stimulates all my "smart" brain cells to fire.

And no, I won't be telling you the big idea. Because... I kinda forgot it when my head cooled off.

BUT...I'll be adding a pad of paper and pen to the bathroom supplies, so no worries.

Watch out for Flying Fatalities.